There are raindrops on the window. My mind is blank and my whole body is screaming ‘go to bed!’. Sigh. I wanted to be personal share a lot, so I have to do it and keep my promise.
I’ve been in some kind of down mood. Everything is a blur. I don’t know what I want to do with my life. What I want to become. I don’t even know what kind of person I am. Right now I feel like it is never enough. I feel like whenever I am giving my full 100% (projects, friends, own health) it is never enough.
Almost a year ago I got diagnosed with Bipolair disease. Which is incurable and really horrible to live with. But a month a go I got the news they made a wrong diagnoses. So now I am back at zero. The doctors don’t know what I have and don’t know how to fix it.
I hear you thinking: ‘What can be wrong with her?’. Well I have this ‘thing’ that gives me a wave of sadness, a true temporarily depression. The same goes for anger (borderline) and happiness (euphoria) . I have them all in extremes. Every emotion I have is 4 times worse or better than you feel it. All without reasons hitting me like waves and leaving me without any reason. I am also highly sensitive for other peoples emotion. I can get dragged in to them in a second.
I promised to tell my story so I did. It is really scary, but like I said before, I think personal stories make a blog more interesting. So I am asking for you a little bit patience. I am taking the summer to figure things out. I will post! But maybe not the regular 5 posts you expect. I will also keep you up to date. I hope you all will understand. Which I think you will. Thank you.